Thursday, March 5, 2015

Asshole Street Lights Keep Stalking Me

I am not quite sure if I'm alone in this but, since I was a child I have noticed that whenever I would be walking down the sidewalk mindin' my own buziness, the streetlights illuminating the path would either turn on or off as I near them.  For the longest time, I was convinced that I had some super human electrical aura that would trigger the lights to either turn on or off.  As a fully grown adult, although I still kind of believe/hope that is the case, I know now that they use light sensitive photocells to operate. This meaning that as there becomes less light, the photocells sense it and apply current to the bulb and vice-versa. Asshole photocells render my superpower highly unlikley. Frowny face.

Unfortunately this is the only superpower I have yet to discover, and I am not willing to let it just slide without at least putting my 2cents out there to see if there are other freaks out there like me.  Of course the educated person would say that, "hey ilja, obviously since you've obviously been keeping mental tabs of streetlight performance as a kid, you're gonna see a few change."  This has always been the mental explanation I tell myself to keep my sanity and repress possible chances of delusion. (Really want to find out what this rule is called.  I think I read about it in a book about that autistic kid that sees yellow cars more than others. Mental note to find it. Start with Murphy's Law Bible .) No more will I stand for the tyranny which is society and its need to compartmentalize peoples mental processes!

Anyways, rambling aside, as I walked to my local watering hole today, a mere 3 km stumble, I have observed 3 street lights turning on, and 1 turning off directly as I passed beneath them.  This cannot be coincidence. I must be onto something great, perhaps epic. Any ways, fuck you and here's a picture of a cute picture of kittens in teacups I stole from the internet.


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